party like it's 1594!

just about 5 more hours left of the old tired year of 2008.  poor 2008, i'm sure it wasn't wanting to be remembered as the year that ended in a global financial crisis.  chin up Oh Eight, you did give us Obama and you were the year i got bangs again in which i never thought i'd do (and i like them).  see, it wasn't ALL bad.

i'm fully expecting 2009 to be far more exciting though, jam packed with: 

* adventures

* new finds

* travel

* paint

* magic

* success

* more hugs

* spills 

* laughter

* dreams

* open fields

* bare feet

* bliss

(to name a few).  no parties for me tonight, just a cozy quiet night in with my love, our friend Rob, and a sexy little green bottle of bubbles named Perrier.

Until next year my darling.

out with the old...

having a "Happy Old Year" sale in my shop to get ready for Oh Nine.  come on over and check it out!

a little r&r

well, christmas is over and here i sit on a sunday... relaxed.  no work tomorrow, i have all week to be me and i hope to get a lot of painting in.  it was a very nice christmas that went by very fast.  i cooked a turkey dinner for Damian's family (a vegetarian cooking a turkey dinner is always interesting) which i was told turned out delish!  

right now my bum is cozily snuggled into the couch while i enjoy a little plate of crackers & cheese, a glass of red wine, and the 1952 version of 'Moulin Rouge'.  i'm thinking i should light a fire to go with the rest of the ambience, plus, my toes are chilly.  

le sigh

i've been a 9-5 prisoner for 2 weeks now, busy, slowly going insane.  a real post coming shortly.  after next week i'm off for 2 full weeks over christmas and i need it baby, i need it!

lit up like a...

we bought our christmas tree yesterday. now it's christmas.  

i love when damian gets all the lights out to make sure they still work after last years twinkling.  he lays them out in rows, strands plugged into every outlet we have. they stretch from our family room, through our dining room, into our kitchen, little glass tubes of white light.  it's so pretty tiptoeing over and around them.

i'm sitting here in the cozy light of those tiny bulbs now weaved throughout our tree, i just need a fire in the old stovepipe fireplace to complete the mood.  oh well, no wood.

a piece of 6

when i was a little kid, playing with my A-Team action figures in the bath, i found myself eyeing the can of shaving cream sitting on the ledge.  

i picked it up and squeezed a bit onto my hand, it was tinted blue and smelled like my dad's hug.  i squeezed a bit more out.  it was fun to watch the foam puff up in my hand, it was so soft and airy like what you would imagine a cloud feeling like if you could bunch it up in your fingers. before i  knew it the can was empty and Mr. T was drowning in little musk scented drifts.

twenty five years later i found myself with that same urge.  yes, in a moment of silly, i emptied my pink can of silky shaving cream into the palm of my hand.  i had just finished using some for its intended purpose when i looked around, for some reason expecting an audience of curious onlookers, and upon finding no one... began to squeeze.  piles of pink foaming fun, little bits setting themselves free and floating downward in slow motion like overweight bubbles.  i was 6 again, i have no idea what prompted it but it was fun and it smelled pretty.  

i'd do it again too.

Prints!

Prints of my paintings are now available in my shop!

4x6 = $5
5x7 = $8

8x10's will be coming... still playing with paper for those.

my ear shall remain intact

all day today i've felt frustrated, tense.  i felt like the clock was my mortal enemy.  i rush to get things done on the weekend but there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in those 2 days.

the frustration brought me to tears over the most trivial thing, i guess it was my breaking point.  after Damian came to my emotional rescue we cracked open the absinthe for a bit of green forgetting just like my friends Lautrec and Van Gogh did once upon a time.  i'm nowhere near a fan of black licorice but the sugar cube tames it quite nicely.

.goodnight.

why art?

how is it that we decide what we want to do in life?  is it something born into us that we sometimes don't acknowledge until later in life?  in high school i took every possible art & drama class that i could but i don't think i fully realized, at that point, that that was what i wanted my life to be.  my main goal in high school seemed to be friends, pot, and getting out.

why must we choose what we want to do for the rest of our lives when we're 16?  aren't we still too young to even know?  do we not have to experience life outside of institutions to discover ourselves?  i remember many a moment in the guidance counselors office discussing what i wanted to do with my life, where & what i would study in college/university.  i had no idea.  i knew i loved theatre, i knew i loved art & photography, i felt pressure to decided on a path.  so, i applied for theatre studies at a few schools and, as a back up, early childhood education (where that choice came from i have no idea).  i didn't get into theatre arts but i did get accepted to ECE, i didn't accept that offer.  i guess i knew deep down that wasn't for me, just applied to appease those around me that said i had to choose.

instead of college i went to work at the company my dad worked for.  i worked 3 days a week and took night classes at The Second City.  i had so much fun in those improv classes, even had to do a performance in my last level (where i sang opera, not something i could have ever seen myself doing in front of an audience but we (me and the 2 guys i sang with) were a hit!).  despite the fun i came to the realization that it wasn't for me, being in front of an audience, i would much prefer to be behind the scenes.  at this point i was 20 years old.  still discovering.

i'm now 31 and i KNOW that i want to be an artist/photographer.  it feels like it's too late now, like i'm "too old".  i could have applied for art school but didn't, i could be well into my art career by now if i had only realized it was my bliss when i was 16.

it takes time, time to live, discover, open, dream, believe, and it's ever evolving. i am NOT too old, i just have to work harder.  

one thing does appear consistent though, the desire to do something, fulfill myself,  in a very competitive field.  i'm not a competitive person, if i'm losing at monopoly i couldn't care less, i was having fun while playing.  the world of art is a competitive and snobby one.  i don't care much for the snobbery, everyone should have beauty hanging from their walls.  the problem is, art is not NEEDED and in these times of cutbacks and penny pinching art is one of the first luxuries to go.  still, i must do it.  it's part of me, i can't help it.  i have a 9-5 corporate job which i would prefer not to have but i have to fund my dream somehow.  funny how that works isn't it?  most of the time when i get home from that job i'm so drained i couldn't be bothered to put that last inch of energy into my studio time.  with commute to & from included it's an 11 1/2-12 (depending on traffic) hour day.  that's pretty long.

anyways, i'll keep on keepin' on and hopefully one day the thing  i love can be the thing that occupies my days.

fresh

newest piece in my shop, check 'er out!  Flying Whale

regarding my state of (inebriated) mind

this is one of my favourite wines and, at $40 a bottle, it's not one i have often. my dad bought me this bottle because he was at the liquor store buying for he and my mom and new i liked it. my parents spoil me.

at the risk of sounding like an alcoholic, i love the way wine makes me feel. after just one glass i feel light, carefree, uplifted, optimistic, full of promise. is that so wrong? if i told a group of AA's that would i be forgiven and understood? would they join me in the pub down the street for a hearty glass of full bodied red? i have a tendency to over-think and that's extremely annoying, especially when trying to paint. so, sometimes i'll indulge in a a few grapes to help with the natural flow, to melt away the part of me that's bent on logic.

most of the time it's red that works the magic but my other liquid weakness also plays a part, takes turns in altering my state of mind if you will. champagne. oh how i love the bubbles.

i could use some red tonight baby, everyone at my work seems to be sick so all day i've been forced to listen to coughing and snot. kinda makes one feel sick by association.

champagne & rockets

I absolutely love halloween.  the costumes, the spooky, the paranormal, bring it on!  i'm sitting here in my living room, lights dimmed so the candles in the windows can flicker by their own light, with a bowl of candy beside me waiting for little fists to knock at the door.  we don't get many kids where i live but the one's i've seen tonight look fantastic.  witches, transformers, cats, indiana jones', dinosaurs, they're all so shy when i tell them to just dig into the bowl and take whatever and as much as they'd like.

a little boy, the transformer, came to the door and his mom waited on the sidewalk.  his costume was incredible, i caught myself before fully uttering "holy shit" when i opened the door and saw 3 feet of foam and paint holding out a little bag.  i told him his costume was fantastic and his mom told me that his dad made it.  his mom had a magical witch costume on, this was no dollar store witch hat, it looked like it was straight out of a fairy tale.  the little dog she had who was sniffing our lawn was a fireman, i think.  i was so excited at how great their costumes were.  i pictured the dad at home, nights before now, painting and cutting out pieces of foam, sizing it on his son then going back to make adjustments.  i love when parents dress up with their kids to take them out, you're never too old to play with costumes.

next year halloween is on a saturday and i want to go all out with decorating.  we're usually always rushing home from work to greet the kids with sugar but next year, baby next year i'm making our house the place to be!  we live in a little village in an old house that was built in 1865 (that's our dining room pictured up there).  it has so much halloween promise.  i love living in an old house, i much prefer that to a "new build".  i like the idea of the history, the many feet that have walked through the doors.  i'm sitting on the original hardwood floor as i type this, 143 years of stories under my bum.  being halloween and all, i just have to say i'm sure this joint is haunted.  i've seen many a thing out the corner of my eye and our cats enjoy staring at the staircase with ears back and large eyes.  anyway, it must be friendly or i'm sure we would have been forced out by now.  unless of course there's some 5 or 10 year anniversary (we've only lived here for 3) of a violent event that will shake the house to its core, spill dark shadows out of corners, write frightening sentiments in condensation on the bathroom mirrors, etc.  but until then i will enjoy living here with the apparition that floats through my peripheral vision.

speaking of 10 year anniversaries, i realized this morning that Damian & i have been together for 10 years today.  he asked me out on halloween.  we wanted to get married on halloween but it fell on a wednesday the year we knot tied.  so, we did it on the backwards version, 13.  friday the 13th!  i'm enjoying some champagne in celebration... that and i just love bubbles.

neige

Woke up to about 2 inches of snow this morning, i loved it! it's the second snow in 2 weeks and we haven't even hit halloween yet. all i've heard is complaints, i must be the only one wanting more. on the news they always say "but don't fret, by the end of the week we'll be back in the double digits". this is canada, it snows here....every year.

i adore it though, that white blanket out there on my lawn is magic to me. it's even better when it's a surprise, like an unexpected gift. my favourite snowfalls are at night, watching it fall in headlights and streetlamps, going for a walk in the stillness and coming back inside for hot chocolate (with marshmallows of course) or tea.

snow conjurs up thoughts of fires, baking, the smell of cloves, snowflakes on mittens, christmas shopping in little villages, mulled wine, rosy cheeks, cuddling up, decorating the tree, twinkling lights, cozy pubs, cobblestone streets, blizzards that keep me housebound (from work, yippee). i could go on but there's already too many commas.

bring on the brrr.